This One is Weird
Mitch, why did you have to go and make this email a strange one? Everything was going fine until you said: "this message will self destruct in 5 seconds." Everything after that is a PR nightmare. We hope you're not looking for a letter of recommendation afterward.
Be Sad, I'm Leaving
Alex was probably a great employee. That's why they took the time to buy a card to prove it. Alex is moving on to bigger and better things, and they will never return.